Feminism: It makes sense

Menstruation and the way sexism perverts it

thescarletwoman:

aelur:

Yesterday my body began to go through that dreaded week in the month where my utero hurts constantly and my bidet seems like the most heavenly invention on earth. And out of nowhere, I remembered the time I first menstruated. I was kind of a late bloomer in comparison with the rest of my class; I was thirteen. I felt proud and excited about those body changes, because it meant I was one step closer to becoming an adult (which was still the ideal state of mind for my little pre-teen self). 

My mum reacted benevolently, a bit amused because, in her words “you’re going to hate it until you’re my age, and then you’ll begin to miss it”. So far it was a positive reaction from my environment. What shocked me, though, were the words my father said to me when he arrived home. I asked him why he wasn’t happy for me, and he said “why would I be happy? You’re not my little girl anymore”. 

Back then this felt like nothing more than the paternalist thinking I’d come to associate with my father over the years. The culture of “daddy’s little girl” that I somehow, naively, adhered to for the most part during my childhood. But thinking about his words yesterday, I realized just how sexist it really was.

And what my daddy meant was more than just nostalgia for my “innocence”. What saddened him is that my menstruation meant I was breaking away from the subservient role of a girl-child, the ideal woman in a man’s eyes, and that I was slowly assuming my sexual role. Menstruation is about empowering. It’s the first sign of sexual maturation. It’s the time when a girl truly realizes they have their own body, their own needs, and it separates her from her parents -and most importantly, the father figure-. We begin to act independently. It’s something that a father fears because it’s an aspect of his child’s life that gets out of his control. It’s strictly feminine, so he can’t access it, he can’t own it, he can’t control it. Granted, this is all the subconscious hogwash that macho culture has been ingraining in men’s brains for years, more than a conscious, actual desire from their part. 

So my menstruation upset him and I began to get more and more independent over the years. What do I believe my father actually meant with his words? “I fear you’ll try to take my place some day”. And this is important because, out of fear men begin to repress.

And how do they repress something as natural as menstruation? By shaming it. It’s shameful to talk about your menstruation. It’s gross, it’s something no one needs to know. When you ask a friend for some pads or a tampon, they handle them as if they were a pound of ecstasy and there’s a policeman in the corner of the room. Going to the bathroom with a pad in your hand is tasteless. It should embarrass you. 

And this is bullshit. We are told we have to pretend we don’t have menstruation; that something so gross can’t be associated with a lady. Well, I don’t really see people going undercover or using fake mustaches to go to the bathroom to take a shit and piss, but that’s because those are bodily needs that also affect men. Once again, menstruation is a process that men can’t access. So they repel it. 

During highschool I used to poke fun at my friends by vividly describing them what I felt and experienced during menstruation. Normally, they were absolutely disgusted by it and of course, they rejected my little tales. But you know why I did it? Because I thought it was unfair that they got to tell me all about his cum and how they made the nastiest stuff to their girlfriends with it and that was okay, even celebrated, but telling them about the blood that came out of my vagina once a month was something I was supposed to hide. 

A direct consequence of this is the popular spanish phrase, “vino Andrés”. Girls’ve used it for years to indicate that they’re on their period in a very indirect way. Once again, we’re told we can’t simply say “I’m on my period” or in spanish, “me vino”. “Vino Andrés” literally means “Andres came”, which is a sort of joke that prompts the interlocutor to ask “Quién?” (who?) to get a rhyme as the answer, “Andrés, el que te viene una vez por mes” (Andres, the one that comes once a month). It’s interesting to see the fact that, even though the name was probably used only because of its sound, it’s in fact  a male name, and we’re using it do describe a female experience. So we’re not only hiding a female trait, we’re also in fact, masculinizing it by giving it a male identity. [Briefly, I’d like to note that menstruation in spanish is used with a feminine article, la menstruación, so that masculinization isn’t a natural derivative from the language itself].

Another popular phrase that’s used is “tengo chicle?” which is a covert way of a girl to ask you to check if her pants are stained (literally, “do I have bubblegum?”). Once again, it’s shameful to demonstrate in public your feminine qualities, so we’re forced to care for ourselves using codes.

I don’t know about the rest, but I’m tired of acting like a spy during WWII every time I’m on my period. So I talk about it and I make a point of desensitizing my male friends every chance I get. Maybe I’m a little extreme, but I don’t really like being told that what makes me a woman is something I should be all hush hush about. 

loved this post!!! Incredibly true.